Comedian

I'm always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that's off stage. People know when it's fake.

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.

When you leave, you basically want to go eat, because I talk a lot about food in my act. So when you leave, you leave hungry.

In the beginning, when I was doing my shows, I was incorporating a lot of Spanish, just trying to be a Latino comic instead of just a comic. Now I try to make the show as broad as possible... I don't want to alienate people. I want to make it so everybody can follow along and everybody can relate.

I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.'

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.

You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don't work out in life, they work out on stage.

As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I'm kind of jaded on everyone else.

Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.

I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it.

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.

I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship.

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.

Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop.

I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I'm alive and I'm living and I'm experiencing different things every day, the show will always change.

Some comics don't like it when people talk during the set, and it does get a little bit annoying after awhile, but I basically let people dictate what jokes I'm going to do.

I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.

I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me.

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.

You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that's all I've ever done.