Comedian

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

Take my wife... Please!

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

She has a wash and wear bridal gown.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!