Jaboukie Young-White

Comedian

85 Quotes

As a gay person, I'm used to speaking on gay issues. As a black person, I'm used to speaking on black issues.

One time I spent more than $40 on groceries, and my bank thought someone stole my debit card.

On a 1 to 10 scale, I don't think that I could model, but I could definitely end a Republican senator's career.

Seriously, you can't talk socialism in America without going to the OG, Sen. Bernie Sanders.

Seriously, you can't talk socialism in America without going to the OG, Sen. Bernie Sanders.

Is socialism still for me if I'm a millennial millionaire?

Amazon's been around for 24 years, and now they're doing what any 24-year-old does: move to New York and gentrify a neighborhood.

When I started out in stand-up, I was already used to speaking in front of people, how to project, control my voice - a lot of learning curves I had overcome.

I think pop music was going through a phase where it was like pop but dance-hall or pop but R&B. But, no, I just want a pop song.

Once I started getting serious about standup I got a better handle on word economy and making jokes punchier, which translated well to Twitter.

That is what I got into comedy for, to be able to challenge myself and just grow as a comedian and find new ways to be funny.

Living and performing in New York has allowed me to try my weirder and more experimental things.

You want young people to vote, make Election Day a national holiday.

I don't need a driver's license, my Uber driver needs a driver's license.

Amazon's been around for 24 years, and now they're doing what any 24-year-old does: move to New York and gentrify a neighborhood.

My parents are Jamaican immigrants and both have a multiracial background. They're Jamaican but my genetic makeup is West African, European, Asian.

The urge to push the concept of sex and sexuality into the fringes of the human experience is so bizarre to me.

Fact check: The examples of failed socialism that critics use are not socialist democracies but authoritarian states led by corrupt, ruthless, and paranoid dictators.

I went to Catholic schools my entire life and never had anything close to a cis heterosexual sexual education let alone a queer one. Everything I learned was trial and error or the Internet or 'Talk Sex with Sue Johanson.'

Nothing screams 'I'm desperate for attention' like tweeting in all caps.

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