Actor

I don't mind it so much if I get type cast as an authority figure. I get to do comedy no matter what it is, so it doesn't bother me.

I took classes and performed and did improv and sketch and wrote sketches and did lights and sound for other people's shows just so I could be around the theater. That was about seven nights a week for seven years.

When the folks at Holiday Inn Express handed me a pancake with my very own face on it, I knew I had finally made it. Then, I grabbed a knife and fork, and tucked into my face. And I'm happy to report: I'm delicious.

You get to really master the emotion of humility as a Chiefs fan.

When you're leading Marines, you don't screw around, so the comedy is limited in uniform. And when you're a comedian, you can't be heavy handed and come across with tales of gore or material that people won't understand, so I try to keep them separate.

I think audiences can relate to the guys I'm playing, those large-and-in-charge idiots. Or maybe I just make them feel better about who they are, or who they're dating.

I'm an improviser. I came up doing improv at the U.C.B. Theater in New York for seven years. That's where I started, so improv is what I love.

Guy's guys are of course welcome! But my audience runs the spectrum of humanity. There's something for everyone!

That's a good sign for a movie: When it becomes part of the lexicon and pop culture for an entire generation. I've been in many movies, luckily, that get quoted.

I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, and I wasn't the biggest, so I got real good at running my mouth and making people laugh and using humor as a way to not get into fights.

I've written several pilots that haven't gone, so that's why you haven't seen any.

I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but if you're not constantly craving breakfast every second of every day, you're not a real American. Y'know what, let's throw the Canadians in there, too.

When I put on my Marine cover, I'm a Marine, and I act accordingly.

Honestly, I just keep my nose to the grindstone and keep working. At the end of the day, that's usually one of those things that's going to get you ahead.

Just take yourself back to September 2001. As that month went on, and as that autumn unrolled, everybody wanted to do something. How can I help? Do you want my blood? Do you want money for the victims? I was a captain in the Marine Corps. I knew what I could do. I was right there. I was ready. I saw it. I moved the rubble with my own hands.

When you go out there to do comedy, you feel like you're doing battle with the audience a lot of the time. You're either going to get 'em, or you're not.

I went through puberty late. I was a little, little, tiny kid. I was still growing in college.

As a comedian, I'm always quoting 'Caddyshack' and 'Dumb and Dumber.'

It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time.

I can't quote stats from another decade. I've got friends that can do that. But I am a huge sports fan. In fact, I enjoy all sports, and when I enjoy a game for five minutes, I'm in it for the whole thing. Plus, I do have some teams I loyally follow.