Actor

I think I'm just a comedian who's a pretty good con man, and I don't see that changing any time soon.

It is good to connect to someone who reminds you that you have some real authenticity.

To become the best comedian, I must be well-rounded.

I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'.

I can't stand Snapchat, but that will be extinct before it is relevant.

I know that, as a comedian, I've made great strides because I've worked as hard as a person can work at being at least wildly amusing.

I've stated that it's possible the only reason I'm in show business is that I have such a strange, particular head of hair. That, and I can grow a red beard.

I know that, as a comedian, I've made great strides because I've worked as hard as a person can work at being at least wildly amusing.

I actually prefer Twitter as a medium, and I also got into Periscope for a second, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do with it. I can't figure out if the only important thing about it is the live broadcast, or if it's an interesting kind of way to log what you do.

I feel like I've forcefully been thrust into the tech world, and I've enjoyed every minute of it.

It's the comedy that guides me. The acting and all that stuff comes second. It's equally important, but I just try to do that as best as I can.

You just put yourself into your work, and you can do anything you want, depending on how hard you want to work for it.

I drink a fair amount of ramen noodles.

I'm interested in morality and mortality, and 'Deadpool' kind of has all of these themes.

'Extract' was kind of a grown up 'Office Space' in the sense of talking about the ennui of being a successful person in America if you don't have some real passion in your life for something to care about.

My face is oblong. But the best grooming is confidence.

I do comedy to give people an ephemeral escape from the tragedy that permeates everyday life.

Keep your elbows soft. Keep your elbows looking fine.

J. P. Morgan. He was kind of a douche.

I consider myself a fairly ethical individual while I do have a lot of dichotomies within me. We're all victims of our own hypocrisy at times.