"People will pay more to be entertained than educated." — Johnny Carson

To be an entertainer, you gotta be a little gutsy, a little egotistical, so you have to pull back sometimes when people say, 'Well, he's stuck-up.' 'Stuck-up' is only another word for self-conscious.

I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

I was going to hang it up on the twenty-fifth year of this show. I don't know why. Maybe twenty-five years is enough. And I found out that I was having so much fun doing the show that we decided to stick around for a while.

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People will pay more to be entertained than educated.