So many Christmas films either are twee, or try and go super edgy, then stick on something Christmassy at the end of the movie.
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I have always been against cruelty to animals and remain so.
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The redemption plot is one of the oldest story shapes.
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I'm the only comedian qualified to navigate a supertanker.
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People sort of imagine Chris Morris and me sitting somewhere dark, with dripping taps and chilling background music. In fact, we like to sit on his roof in the sunshine - and there's an endless amount of just sitting there, going, 'So, erm, er, what shall we do?'
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It feels quite cool, in a mad way, to be someone who skulks about in the shadows.
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The future's come and gone; it's a thing of the past. That once impossibly exotic expression 'the year 2000,' for so long evocative of silver suits and robots in pinnies, now feels antiquated.
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Innovations, instantly followed by a demented lust for them, now arrive with dizzying speed, not just daily, but in one-hour delivery slots.
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I'm nostalgic for the future I knew as a kid. Back then, it was a lovely, bleepy, heavenly land populated by svelte men in white polo necks, who would lounge on big white sofas sipping blue wine from big glass globes, beside women like the ones on the covers of Hedkandi chill out compilations.