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That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

- James Veitch
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Author:
James Veitch
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Alive
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I remember it when I used to go out, I used to dress as Superman, but then I used to dress as Superman dressed as Clark Kent. So, actually, I would be like a little seven-year-old boy going out in a business suit. But I would never expose the fact that I was Superman, but I knew, that should there be any trouble, I could take care of it.

You can succeed as a terrible director, but try doing that with stand-up: try being a terrible comedian and getting up on stage. The funny will win out very, very quickly.

Some of the best scams that you get are the ones that pretend to come from friends of yours, because you can just say anything you want, because a scammer has no idea about your relationship with that person.

I suspect I wasn't loved enough as a child.

Crazy stuff happens when you start replying to scam emails. It's really difficult, and I highly recommend we do it.

The marooned friend is one of the best-known scams, principally because it's the one that dodges the spam filter most often. It comes from someone you know but often only tangentially. It's since become - hands down - one of my favourite scams.

I know some people whose father has basically spent their whole inheritance on scammers. He's old; he wants to feel important, like he's doing business, so he goes to his bank and pays out - it's terrifying.

Don't get me wrong - I don't want to be mean to the scammers. There are lots of people online who do that. I'm content merely having fun inventing, and I figure any time they're spending with me is time in which they're not scamming vulnerable adults out of their savings.

I'd really like to be able to whistle with two fingers. Is this a biological thing? Is it to do with the teeth? Who teaches people to do this? How do I learn?

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That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.

That's the worst health condition you can have, not being alive.