At one point, I wrote 20 jokes a day, and I had a commitment to send them to the same three people. Now, I just write down what my husband says in his sleep. He's the funniest person, even unconscious.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
I love being a housewife... I love doing laundry. Except I have a little bit of separation anxiety, and you have to separate your laundry, so I have a little bit of a problem there.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
I would love to do a sitcom. I see myself as an older woman, getting married, and her stepchildren, who are in their twenties, move back home.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
Just figuring it out for 30 years - 30 years... I think I'm ready now to expand - to grow.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
My sister and I had a lemonade stand - with a two-drink minimum.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
I don't think I was funny until college. I lived with some Harvard MD/PhD students - they were so smart, and what I contributed to the house was, I was the funny one.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
I think it's never too late to start anything, except maybe being a ballerina.
Copied to Clipboard
Copied to Clipboard
People ask me if they can send me material, and some people give or send it to me unsolicited, but I rarely buy jokes.