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I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

- Victoria Coren Mitchell
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Author:
Victoria Coren Mitchell
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Growing Up
Up
Becoming
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I'm really bored by the constant vilifying of people (especially women) for things they didn't say.

I'm really bored by the constant vilifying of people (especially women) for things they didn't say.

I remember I had a copy of 'David Copperfield' that I lugged around at primary school. I started reading it when I was seven, and I was eight when I finished it. I read an awful lot as a little girl and played games and imagined lots of things.

I was never, in my whole school career, given a job as a monitor, a form captain, or a prefect. I never won any kind of prize.

Video piracy is among the most irritating aspects of modern life for those who work in the film business. Adverts telling you not to commit video piracy are among the most irritating aspects of modern life for those who don't.

I like the fact that the weather forecast is always wrong. In a world of BlackBerry insta-connection, Google research, and Hadron Colliders, it is a daily reminder of the ultimate ignorance of man. It is a signpost towards all the enormous things we cannot understand.

We all look stupid in patterned tights.

School is supposed to civilise us, to tame our wilder instincts and teach us how to be more sensible, more knowledgeable, and cleverer.

I pay higher premiums because my speeding points spell 'recklessness' to the insurance company, but you can't imagine how risk-averse I am at the wheel. I only go over 30 at all because it's dangerous to drive too much slower than everyone else.

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I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.

I dreamed of growing up and becoming a zookeeper.