I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
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I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.
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I hate every human being on earth. I feel that everyone is beneath me, and I feel they should all worship me. That's what I told my kids.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
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Everything that's written about me has such a negative taint. It just has a life of its own, like an avalanche, and I don't think there's anything I can do to stop it.
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My real life is funnier than anything on TV.
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!