What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?
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Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
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So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock 'n' roll and ex-wives. In that order.
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I'm so tired of men who are afraid to hurt women's feelings.
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I'm not going to give up the shock part of my comedy.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.