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I saved my money.

- Pete Holmes
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Author:
Pete Holmes
Tags:
Money
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What people respond to is intimacy and regularity.

I think my mom recognized that I liked people to be happy. I like people to get along. And I like to be a peacemaker. And I liked the church. So she was like, 'You should be a youth pastor.'

Ideally, a good pastor wants to empower a congregation to the point where they don't need him. You want everyone to leave feeling better.

I'm the weirdo that tells - asks - the Uber driver to please turn the radio down. I'm so polite about it, though.

It's hard to control the things that are going to inspire you.

There are elements of comedy that can be competitive and back stab-y, but one of the underreported sides is that we love each other and help each other, kind of like a messed up extended family.

There's something about a podcast that feels like two people in a closet with the lights off.

When you think about a festival from a comedian's perspective, it has to do with who else does it - that's number one. The second consideration - and this is kind of crazy - is: 'What's the food like? What is the town like? Is it walkable? Is it easy to get around?'

It's true that in show business, a lot of times a producer will just not ever be there, not even be aware that a show is renewed or canceled.

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I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.

I saved my money.