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Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

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I'm an equal opportunity despiser.

I find that the history books that we teach our kids with are not fully truthful, in my opinion.

I don't take PAC money. I don't take special interest money.

When you drink fluoridated water, you're drinking liquid Prozac. You drink enough of it, even though it's a small amount, drink it for decades and decades and what does Prozac do to you? It dumbs you down; it makes you docile.

Whenever the government says, 'It's time to move on,' that means there's something they don't want you to know about.

I love fat people. Every fat person says it's not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland.

Are you familiar with 9/11? Building 7? You know what was in there? All the Enron stuff. I guess that building went down on its own.

If you were to come to Minnesota, I could have you locked up like that. That's power.

My father used to always say to me that, you know, if a guy goes out to steal a loaf of bread to feed his family, they'll give him 10 years, but a guy can do white-collar crime and steal the money of thousands and he'll get probation and a slap on the wrist.

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Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.

Republicans are not a political party. It's a mental condition.