When you spend $3,000 on a five-day training, you want to make it good.
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I'd been a lost young actress searching for everything: my big break, a way to save some money, friends I could connect with and - more than anything - purpose in my life.
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One of the things that can be helpful in terms of an explanation is to look at the ways in which cults are similar to abusive relationships. Nobody seeks out an abusive partner, but so many people stay in these relationships longer than they should - they make excuses, they ignore red flags, and they allow themselves to be emotionally manipulated.
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I'm looking forward to just being a mom and being normal.
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I thought Keith Raniere was the greatest, wisest, most brilliant man on Earth. I had no idea what was going on with the women and everything that came out in the FBI's investigation.
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I was really looking for a sense of purpose, a sense of community. I guess you could say that made me vulnerable, but I think those are good things to want. More so than being naive, I would say I was extremely idealistic, and that's something Nxivm exploited.
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I recognize the person that wanted to help people, working hard - naively maybe - to make the world a better place. But I don't recognize the person who was drinking the proverbial Kool-Aid.
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That's really the nature of how cults get you - by starting slow, promising to help you realize your goals.
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There's a momentum to being committed to a group that you think is good, and there's a certain amount of cognitive dissonance to make your choice a good choice.