Comedian

After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.

You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

I love what's happened to me, but when I was a kid, I wanted to be the president of the United States.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

I live way below my means.

When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.

I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality either. It's the personality of a guy who hasn't been able to say what he wanted to say.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go.

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much.

Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.