Comedian

Comedians want honest discussion because it affects us. We make our living talking, so anything around language affects us greatly.

All major cities are the same. People have the same sensibilities and they get afraid of the same subjects, groaning at the same things.

I don't care if I offend people. I really don't care.

I get away with 10 times more on 'Leno' than I would on any other show.

Wherever I go, there is definitely my audience. I would say in some places there's more of them than others, but it's one advantage to performing for a long time and building up kind of a reputation with a certain crowd.

I like to keep busy, because otherwise I'd be languishing by myself.

Lenny Bruce did clean TV. You have to be able to do that, I think, to succeed because if you want to promote something, you go on 'The Tonight Show' or 'Letterman' or whatever, you can't be dirty.

Anyone who can't tell the difference between a joke and hate speech is just stupid.

Every comic says things that are going to offend someone, so we all have to defend each other with this stuff.

Being a harsh, dirty comic, the last person on earth I ever expected to help my career was Jay Leno. I had always thought of performing on 'The Tonight Show' as an unachievable goal, because I bought into the myth that only squeaky clean, family-friendly material would be welcome there.

I'm very careful with my money.

You know, a comedian's comedian is just that - it's a guy who's original and funny and can make comics laugh.

I'd like to get my own TV show on, whether it's a talk show or a comedy, that I write.

I got really lucky that at age 12, I knew I just wanted to be a dancing monkey in front of people and entertain them, or try to. It's amazing that at age 12 I realized what a needy life I was gonna have.

I know I'm funny, and I like to be in front of people, and the fact that I'm good at that. It's the one thing that gave me self-esteem.

I know that I have a good career and I'm really busy, but there's always that part of my mind that's like, 'You're not doing enough, nobody knows you're alive, you're failing.'

Ozzy Osbourne is one of my favorite interviews, he's so good.

I like being single.

I have cowlicks, so my hair has always been a source of torture for me.

My job is to be funny.