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Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.