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I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

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I know a lot about a few things - mostly useless things.

Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.

Did I end up finding a little blue pill to cure America's electoral dysfunction? Unfortunately, it's not that simple.

The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't.

It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict.

The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don't think it's funny, but you're convinced that other people will think it is, well they won't.

Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness.

I don't think everyone should vote. If you have to be dragged into the polls, carried into the polls and smelling salts have to be used, you probably shouldn't be voting. However, we shouldn't be putting up barriers to voting that target certain groups.

My sophomore year I spent exactly one day on the JV football team. It was the tryout day.

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I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.

I was not a jock in high school. I know, you're shocked.