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Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.
