College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.
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I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.
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I don't combine proteins and carbohydrates.
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I am lucky to have good Polish skin that doesn't wrinkle so I might be around for a few years yet.
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I have to keep reminding myself that I am their mother. Sometimes we are sitting at home and I feel like we are waiting for our mom to come home.
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I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television is that they don't employ old people or fat people.
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Being a mother is hard and it wasn't a subject I ever studied.
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Mum used to hide love letters from my boyfriends and put me down. Now I understand that she was a Polish immigrant forced to settle in Chicago. She was jealous of the freedom life gave me.
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I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.