I read somewhere that when I go on stage, people realize that they're not me and they feel better. When I walk off the stage, people know who I really am. I'm not saying it's great comedy, cool comedy or better comedy - but that's what I do, and I do it first for myself.
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My performance level has risen - and my anxiety-level has sky-rocketed.
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I certainly wouldn't be a dental hygienist - they should get the Medal of Honor just to look at people's gums.
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I was 23, and all sorts of people were coming in and out and watching me, like Steve Allen and Bette Midler. David Brenner certainly took me under his wing. To drive home to my little dump in New Jersey often knowing that Steve Allen said, 'You got it' - that validation kept me going in a big, big way.
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If you want to devote yourself to the arts, you'd better do it strictly from passion, because there is zero guarantee that you'll get anywhere. The hardest thing is dealing with business people who have nothing to do with your art. They could care less that you're up at 4:30 in the morning writing a joke. Don't expect any sympathy from anybody.
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My act is always a work in progress. I pray I have a bad day before a show.
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My wife's hip, beautiful and independent and never jealous.
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I didn't ever feel close to my real family. I didn't feel validated; I never felt right because I was always wrong.
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When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.