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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.
