Writer

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

When a new source of taxation is found it never means, in practice, that the old source is abandoned. It merely means that the politicians have two ways of milking the taxpayer where they had one before.